Wilkes-Barre Makes It Clear [Archive] - World Order Of Football Forum

MalcPow

05-07-2007, 05:23 PM

<DIV>Wilkes-Barre Makes It Clear: “We’re only mining that really clean coal.”Wilkes-Barre - May 7, 2007 - 6:10pmNew Wilkes-Barre President of Football Operations Malcolm Powell addressed a throng of reporters today at an unusually contentious afternoon press conference. Hoping to put residents and activists alike at ease, Powell took to the podium to voice the team’s firm commitment to supporting the aggressive pursuit of alternative renewable energy sources and technologies.“I understand that many of you are concerned about the message we’re sending, especially to children,” Powell noted. “But our mascot and its images are meant to serve as a reminder of the hard work and strong values that this community was founded upon, and to honor those that exemplified them in the coal mining industry.”Local activist Paula Kartesian, detained for rushing the stage and attempting to strike Powell with a dead canary, offered a different perspective.“Pollutants such as coal are causing the rapid deterioration of our planet’s environmental stability, and threatening the purity of our water, the quality of our air, and the existence of our entire race.”Kartesian affirmed that she has pleaded with management in the past to reconsidertheir franchise namesake, but to no avail. Her frustrations stem from a deeply held belief that anti-environmental images are woven into the very fabric of our society, meant to undermine and impair efforts to save our planet from certain destruction.“There’s also been extensive documentation of coal use by the Nazis during World War II,” she adds. “It boggles the mind that a professional sports team would wish to drape itself in the cloth of such infamy, and it is an outrage that a symbol of such moral depravity is given the highest stage of national media attention every week on our nation’s airwaves.”The team’s new President appeared visibly confused when confronted with these revelations, and offered little in the way of useful consolation. The lack of any real commitment to change, or even a sense of true understanding, left many to wonder why the press conference was even called in the first place.In the wake of the national attention given to tiny Appalachian A&M University’s recent struggle to avoid NCAA sanctions, it’s likely Powell saw the need to get out in front of a potentially brewing controversy at Mine Shaft Park. The fledgling university’s capitulation to special interest demands saw the demise of the school’s historic mascot, Billy the Fighting Nugget (who performed his final Combustion Dance at halftime of the team’s conference basketball tournament loss), and it’s obvious no one in the Wilkes-Barre organization wants to see the franchise’s beloved Mike the Miner Man left to endure a similar fate.But his plan to curb intensifying pressure may have backfired, as the press conference served as a forum for numerous attacks from angered public figures and snide reporters. And the new boss looked ill-equipped to weather the storm.“Look I want to be clear on this,” Powell stammered in a closing statement. “I mean if we’re mining coal, we’re only mining that really clean coal. But we’re doing it in a way that honors the hard work and decency of this community’s roots, not the Nazis… or anything like that.”Let’s hope he can say the same for this offseason’s personnel acquisitions.-Harry Leftleby</DIV><DIV></DIV><DIV></DIV><DIV></DIV><DIV></DIV>